 I will not be the first - nor the last - to say that I feel pulled in a lot of directions. Lately I've noticed it more than usual, I think because the kids - though still very young - are getting older. Brilliant Beauty is in middle school, Little Big Man has started pre-k, and Pretty Baby is only still a baby in the birth order sense of the word. Each day in a lot of wonderful ways they become more independent. We're all bending and flexing to adjust to new realities. I like them needing me. But I really like them wiping their own noses and hineys.
I like them wanting my attention, but I really like them being able to entertain themselves. I like that they have always been home with me, but I like the idea that I will not always spend the whole of my days answering the beck and call of miniature people. Yes, the togetherness has been grand, but the autonomy is so nice, too.
Then there's all that I would like to fill my time with; so many aspirations. There are gardens to dream up and plant, tapestries of words to weave, endless creative ventures to pursue, worthy causes to champion, goals to master. Even before the kids were out the door for their first days of school this year I could feel my head spinning euphorically with all of the possibilities and ideas. Sometimes I ache wanting to do some of these things so much, but not knowing how to prioritize them or make them happen or finance them.
And let's not forget about those finances. We have loosened up our rules on credit card usage over the past two years which not surprisingly translates into accruing debt we don't want and debt we need to dump. So shouldn't I find some way to earn more money than the couple of part-time jobs that I work? I mean, dispassionate as I may be about it, if there's time freed up maybe I should consider selling environmentally-friendly spoon rests or press-on nails or zebra-print power tools designed just for women DIY-ers from the trunk of my car. Is that what I need to do with my extra time? What is...what I want...what I don't want...what might be a good idea.
Head.spinning.
Then it happened. Ma Luffin' Mayun went away for two days on a much needed spiritual respite and retreat. Of course he had my full support and my prayers throughout the time he was gone. But in a moment of nothing special, enveloped in some mundane task, it happened to me. There was this overwhelming sense, a knowing...a reminder...of what I am "called" to, both in person and in purpose. Just like that.
I haven't had a lot of just-like-thats, but this was just.like.that.
In a moment I didn't know the how of who and what I am to be and do, but I knew the fact of who and what I am to be and do. I did not see that one coming. And I could not be more thankful or sober about it.
I talk a lot on here of choosing the better thing; that there are good things, but then there are better things. All of those thoughts racing in my head...the plans and the ideas and the questions and the motives...are so much good stuff. But when I'm reminded of the better things, both the general and custom-fit better things for my life, the choices and decisions become so much clearer to make. The good things grow dimmer and paler in the light of the better things.
I so want to be wise. I don't want to be smart. I have smart - I mean really smart - friends. I could spend the rest of my waking hours studying and still not be as smart as they are. But I want to be wise. I don't even know fully what that means when I say it or yearn for it, but I want it. I want to grow in wisdom. I know that if I am to live a life that aims to lay claim to consistently choosing the better thing, I need wisdom. This week I've been reading through Proverbs with the community of ladies at SheReadsTruth. It should come as no surprise that King Solomon, the man who asked of God nothing more than to make him wise, would write so deeply of wisdom. Over the days of reading, one behind the other, the Lord in his kindness keeps speaking to me of plans and purposes and the need for wisdom...
- Wise words are like deep waters. Wisdom flows from the wise like a bubbling brook. (Prov 18:4)
- Purposes and plans are established by counsel. (Prov 20:18)
- Many plans are in a [wo]man's heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand. (Prov 19:21)
- The Lord directs our steps so why try to understand everything along the way? (Prov 20:24)
In a season where the swirling leaves are all of the good ideas and plans I could come up with flying around in my mind and heart, what deep, deep comfort it is to me to know that God himself is the wonderful Counselor, named Pele Yahats in Hebrew. It's not what he does, it's who he is.
Wisdom is supreme; therefore, get wisdom. I plan on it.
Here's to better things.
I want to be a writer.
For a lot of reasons.
It's palpable.
I don't want it more than my marriage or my kids or my Jesus.
But I want it pretty bad.
Ouch.
Oh, hey blog. You still here?
All you've heard for the last four months is silence and the distant sound of crickets.
I'll remedy that soon.
I hope.
Things are trucking right along here at the start of week two of my Less is More Challenge. Here's a bullet-point check-in:
- Read the Bible and journal everyday.
I haven't done this everyday. I've done it, but not everyday. I realize that it is perhaps not enough to just generally say I will do it within the day, but rather I need to set a specific time for it each day to help me be consistent. It's too easy to make no time for it.
- Access the internet only between the hours of 10am to 2pm daily.
I have done pretty good with this. For the sake of full disclosure, I must say that I have probably spent cumulatively about an hour with moments here and there where I quickly check facebook or email or instagram on my phone outside of the 10 to 2 timeframe, especially on days that I have been too busy with other things to get to a computer during those four hours. That's not the worst thing - to have "snuck" minutes here and there - but then again the goal is to keep it between 10 and 2. I really want to try harder with this in the coming week.
- Follow my exercise routine at least four out of seven days.
I did it! Woohoo. But just like reading my Bible and journaling, I definitely need to give myself a time each day that I devote to getting this done. It's all too easy to let the day slip by without carving out the time for exercising.
- Make no “frivolous” purchases.
I am, oh, so proud to say that I achieved this in the last seven days. In some ways it's been a non-issue; in other ways it's been surprisingly tough. I've got to stay focused.
- Eat no refined sugar.
I definitely stuck to it with this goal and that's good. But I have found myself justifying other snacking with "well, I'm not eating sugar so I'll eat this". That's definitely no good. I'm not in this to swap one vice for another. No sir.
- Winnow the bottom floor of Costa Cottage, room-by-room.
The winnowing has begun, first in the area of laundry. That is going full-throttle and I can tell that within a couple of days I will be able to share the outcome and results of all the hard work going on around here. The clean up and clean out is going well, really well.
So, there you have it. Now you know what I know. Talk to ya tomorrow (I hope).
The starting place in terms of the Less Is More Challenge household winnowing has to be in all-too-familiar territory: the laundry.
So many times before I have harped on our family's need to cut down on the amount of clothing we own, but as many times and more we have fallen short in really solving the problem of our excess. I've also said before how very blessed we have been for a decade to be the favored recipients of wonderful gently-used clothes passed from family and friends to all of us. And because of that blessing we have never needed or had to spend significant or even moderate amounts of money for clothes. Really, we are blessed, and thankful. But it's definitely gotten to be too much.
We are at critical mass. In fact, I think in terms of laundry, we stay at the cusp of atomic fallout even when everything is washed (rarely) and put where it goes (never). It's just too much. TOO MUCH. About six or eight months ago, I started implementing a rockin' awesome “laundry station” system for our clean clothes. Really, it works terrifically (different post, different day). But because of the sheer volume of garments, I am not getting or keeping a leg up on it all.  When the couch can look like this for days on end . . .
|  and there are baskets like this all over the house . . .
| and there's still crap I don't wear hanging in my closet . . . there's a problem.
Here's my bottom line; I don't buck the idea that I am the manager of our home with the majority of the weight of things like laundry, dishes, and the like falling to me because I am here while Ma Luffin Mayun works outside the home. But those things should be functions I perform, not my purpose. And when it would require more time spent maintaining our home and its components than I can give to maintaining and building relationships with people, something's got to give.
Enough is enough. Too much is an albatross.
So it begins. Today. In the laundry pile. I haven't decided exactly the end goal, but I am thinking something like ending up with 7 to 14 outfits max, keeping more “classic” items that can be easily paired and matched together. Again, I haven't hammered out all of those details, but the time is now. Ma Luffin Mayun will take care of his, he assures me, and he's a big boy so he can decide for himself what needs to stay and go. Brilliant Beauty will be responsible (with my limited assistance) for narrowing hers down to the same 7-to-14 goal. I will take care of Little Big Man's, Pretty Baby's, and my wardrobe.
Bring it.
How do you manage maintaining sanity in terms of laundry? I'd love to know what tricks you use or even what challenges you face at the top of the laundry heap. Please leave a comment and let me know.
Far and away, the most challenging part of this Less Is More Challenge is squeezing my internet time into the hours between 10 and 2. The grocery shopping that was intended to be done last night – sans children – ended up having to be done this morning with the littles in tow. I left the house at 8:45. Three stops later, two dozen times of telling myself “no” to frivolous purchases at the garden/feed store and Aldi's (you and your inexpensively priced superfluous items, Aldi's...like plants, raised garden beds, and home goods...), and umpteen repetitions of “no, we'll eat lunch when we get home”, we finally got home around 11:30. Already and hour and a half into the only four hours of the day I am allowing myself internet time, then all the groceries had to be unloaded and put away.
Now, I assure you, I am whining.
There's nothing magical about the 10-to-2 time frame. I did strategically choose it because it works best for setting aside focused time in the morning and afternoons. Could I shift the block of time on days like today? Yeah, sure. But can I also take what I get in those designated hours and shut-er-down at 2? Get-what-I-get-and-not-pitch-a-fit? Yeah, definitely.
So that's what I'm choosing for today, to abide by the 10-to-2 goal. It is what it is. Everyday isn't like this.
No sugar for two days. That's a win.
I did say “no” to any extra purchases. That's a win.
I will put littles down for rest in a few minutes and exercise. That's a win.
Even though I missed the grocery store last night, Ma Luffin Mayun sent me off to St. Arbucks with my Bible, journal, my pen I told him not to steal from me and act like it's his, and a coupon from my Daddio that got me any drink I wanted for free. That's definitely a win.
Challenge, it is. And that's okay.
P.S. One of our yearling hens, Ruth, died last night, cause unknown. She was a good gal.
It's 12:39 on a cold and blustery Monday April 23rd, 2012. I've got the sniffles and feel a bit mediciney-headish. I'd love to nap, but three kiddos that depend on me at minimum for food, drink, and hiney-wiping would likely prefer I not. The cupboard is bare which means groceries have to be purchased in this day. I'm cold. Did I mention I'm tired?
I'm not whining, just stating. Okay, maybe I'm whining...
It's a good day, and part of the reason for that is I feel a refining of my focus taking place. I so wish I felt the energy today to be as thorough as I would normally like to be in the detailing of thoughts and events that have lent to the focal refinement, but simply put, I just don't. Not today. But that time and those words will come.
Here's the bottom line – I will spend the next 30 days (April 23rd through May 22nd {the last day of school}) working through a personal challenge that I am calling the “Less Is More Challenge”. I have thrown down the gauntlet in my own life in order to bring about some changes I am wanting to see for myself and the entire FabFive. The challenge is for myself and I'm not really imposing anything on the family, but as I talked first to them about it last night at the dinner table, I am once again blessed and not at all surprised to find them completely on board and up to being challenged themselves over the next 30 days.
This is my 30-day Less Is More Challenge:
- Read the Bible and journal everyday.
- Access the internet only between the hours of 10am to 2pm daily.
- Follow my exercise routine at least four out of seven days.
- Make no “frivolous” purchases. (not so much as drink via drive-thru or a superfluous tube of lipstick)
- Eat no refined sugar.(the only planned variance from this is around my birthday in mid-May)
- Winnow the bottom floor of Costa Cottage, room-by-room. (This ends up being six rooms or zones. I spent the week leading up to Brilliant Beauty's spring break winnowing the kids' rooms upstairs, so those rooms are done)Again, I have so many thoughts and provocations for the specifics of this 30-day personal challenge, and I will share them as the days move forward because I really want to document the process here. Summarily, so much of it just goes back to using it or losing it, intentionality, and stewarding, saving, sifting, and shifting. So there it is. On my mark, get set, GO!I hope you'll stick around for updates.
I decided to put another notch in my I-saw-it-on-Pinterest-and-might-as-well-try-it belt.
This pin came by way of K-Row, a brilliant and artistic soul with a gorgeously wild mane of auburn hair. She keeps record of creative endeavors here and it's so worth checking out. (And you might not be ready for what she did with eggs this year. Fabulous.)Besides the stunning visuals, the fact that the pinned page was completely in Chinese was nothing less than intriguing. The photos laid out the directions nearly as well as any words could, so I gave it a try (you can find the Chinese page here).
This was by far one of my favorite crafts. The work was minimal and the payout was so worth it.  I started with a basket of eggs from my henny-hen-hens in the back yard, although, and of course, any eggs would work. I might just like saying I have chickens in the back yard.
I had already decided that if I was going to do this project, I wanted a way to keep the eggs for a long time without worries of them spoiling. I chose to empty the eggs by blowing out the yolks and whites using this method. Truly, I still can't believe how simple a process it was.
| |  I saved the yolks and whites for cooking |
 Now we were ready for dying the eggs. I sent the kids out for their pick of leaves and flowers. Then I followed the pictures from the Chinese blog, with a splash of making it up as I went along, and waited eagerly to see what we'd end up with.
| |
We used leaves and flowers from all over the yard. We dyed them with black tea. Not a single other thing was done to them. The results were outstanding and blew my mind. This will forever be one of my all-time favorites because of its organic beauty. Thanks again, K-Row, for the lead.
Can I just join the bazillion others and say I really dig Pinterest?
I am deferring to the best post I have seen on this so as not to reinvent the wheel by typing out instructions here. Like so many others, I have seen images on Pinterest of this (and gobs of other awesome ideas), and when I came across this one I decided to add it to our Holy Week festivities. We took some time and went through the story with our eggs and then commenced to making our garden.
It was so simple and easy and peaceful (and cheap if your counting). Everybody in our FabFive was able to chip in in some way. Little Big Man tells me everyday that he loves our garden. In a week or so we should see lovely green blades of grass.
Lovely, lovely experience...
 My nephew RMS - our red-haired RoyalMerchantShip of a young man - will leave thelandofthefreeandhomeofthebrave tomorrow for a distant port of call. He will live the next three months of life in beautiful, exotic, mysterious Thailand.
Nineteen years ago he changed our lives. Apart from my own children, no child has ever changed my life more, with his wildfire hair and his immediately-apparent bend to all things artistic. It was then that I started working tirelessly to solidify my position as FavoriteAunt (though I make no claims to having accomplished that), and I make full confession to still trying.
Our first little man.
So much like his father. So much like his mother. Even sometimes, so much like me.
He will turn 20 while he is there. Other birthdays and anniversaries will arrive and depart in his absence. Two miniature ginger boys will wonder if a year has passed in only days. One beautiful boundlessly witty and brilliant sister will miss the partner in so much of life's enjoyment at best and toleration at worst. One mother will pray as she never has from the time he leaves her arms until he arrives in the arms of his three-month surrogate, SQ. One father will see his son set sail into the blue looking more - and less - like him than he realized before, and knowing he will hug the neck, kiss the face, and shake the hand of his boy as he leaves and then a man when he returns.
There are grandparents who have RMS intricately a part of their daily lives. Other aunts and uncles. Cousins. Nieces and nephews. Friends. Not one of us will forget his absence in the room or cease to hold our breath for his correspondence or not wait excitedly for his return.
But we are ready, as much as anyone can be ready for "so-longs". It's time. It's hard. It's good. It will hurt like hell, and reap the rewards of heaven.
RMS, our RoyalMerchantShip, set sail. Launch into the blue. Give up what you can't keep to gain what you can never lose.
We'll be standing on this shore when you return...
 Stand on the shores of a site unseen
the substance of this dwells in me
cause my natural eyes only go skin deep
but the eye’s of my heart anchor the sea
Plumbing the depths to the place in between
the tangible world and the land of dreams
because everything here ain’t quite what it seems
there’s more beneath the appearance of things
A beggar could be king within the shadows of a wing
And Wisdom will honor everyone who will learn
to listen, to love, and to pray and discern
and to do the right thing even when it burns
and to live in the light through each treacherous turn
A man is weak, but the spirit yearns
to keep to the course from the bow to the stearn
and throw overboard every selfish concern
that tries to work for what can’t be earned
Sometimes the only way to return is to go where the winds will take you
And to let go of all you cannot hold onto for the hope beyond the blue
Yellow and gold as the new day dawns
like a virgin unveiled who waited so long
to dance and rejoice and sing her song
and rest in the arms of a love so strong
No one comes unless they’re drawn
by the voice of desire that leads em’ along
to the redemption of what went wrong
by the blood that covers the innocent One
No more separation between us
So lift your voice just one more time
if there’s any hope may it be a sign
that everything was made to shine
despite what you can see
So take this bread and drink this wine
and hide your spirit within the Vine
where all things work by a good design
for those who will believe
And let go of all we cannot hold onto for the hope beyond the blue
Said I let go of all I could not hold onto for the hope I have in You
(lyrics and music, Josh Garrels)
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